


Drunk Gay Sons

by Tsunamiii



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Fucking, M/M, a lot of it, but damn it's, jesus christ - Freeform, like there's a little story in the beginning and it's a little 'aw' at the end, this is pure smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 19:49:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11584989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsunamiii/pseuds/Tsunamiii
Summary: So, after 'Blue', let's pretend they didn't pass out and they were just left in the graveyard. They're pissed off and need relief--No Anakin Skywalker is coming to save these two Princess Leias and all of this is causing pain in their area. What do they do? Read to find out. ( Also, please Lord get all of the references in this summary, smh. If not, I just sound like an idiot slamming my fingers on my keyboard. )





	Drunk Gay Sons

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've been writing over the past few days! I recently got into Heathers and I've loved everything about it! And now, I present to you, this smutty piece of garbage. Have fun and enjoy!

Red brake lights blurred their vision for a few seconds before the ground in front of them sprayed in their faces. Grass and dirt smacked their cheeks and fell limp beside their bodies. The VROOM that followed caused their fears to finally come to fruition—They were abandoned. Stuck in the graveyard and drunk off their asses. “Shit…” Ram’s voice broke the silence before they were, once again, enveloped in it.

“Shit…” Kurt echoed a few minutes later, almost as if it had taken him that long to process their situation. They stared in the direction where the car tore off, blinking in disbelief. “How dare…Those bi-bitches leave us.” He continued, trying desperately to stand on his wobbly feet. The quarterback reached out, grabbed ahold of one of the tombstones and lifted himself up. Ram followed suit and was standing next to his best friend, hand running through his own hair. “And here I-I was thinking that…We were going to get laid—Qu-quite the opposite. Rejected and ab-abandoned…And horny, too…” Ram stayed quiet, not daring to speak and interrupt his friend’s griping.

An awkward silence befell them and they kept on staring off in confusion. “God, I shouldn’t have worn jeans…” Ram’s voice finally spoke up as he reached down to gently palm at his groin, shuffling his junk around to an easier and more comfortable spot.

“You ca-can say that again.” Ram opened his mouth to speak but was quickly shut off by a glare from Kurt. Sighing gently, the quarterback scratched at the back of his neck and turned away from the other. “What are we going t-to do, man? We have no way to get back to t-town. I left my DynaTAC in Heather’s car…”

The linebacker quirked an eyebrow. “Which Heather?” Kurt rolled his eyes at that.

“Does it matter right now? Jesus—Heather McNamara, okay, she’s the one th-that drove here, duh.” Normally, they would have been the ones driving, but they knew they were getting wasted tonight—After all, one bottle was for Heather Chandler and the other bottle was for all four of them. However, one bottle turned into Kurt’s personal one and the other turned into Ram’s. Anyway, they might both be dicks, but they didn’t want to be the cause of someone’s death because of drunk driving. “Ugh, I need relief…I wish they wouldn’t have acted so bitchy tonight…Maybe th-they were on their period or something--Ha, maybe that’s why they didn’t want a piece of this.” At that comment, Kurt ran a hand down his chest and stuck out his tongue before snickering loudly. Ram joined him in the laughing and started shaking his head.

“Must’ve been the reason—I mean, we’re pr-practically irresistible, you know?” Kurt nodded in agreement as Ram sauntered ( quite unsteadily ) over to stand with him. The quarterback nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the other’s fingers wrapping around his wrist. “But, forget about that--Remember that…Thing we did two weeks ago…?” Ram heard Kurt’s sharp intake of breath but did not move away.

Turning his head, he met the linebacker’s gaze. “Yes, I do. And, before you ask, the an-answer is no. We said that was a onetime thing.” Ram rolled his eyes and sucked his teeth. “Don’t do that…We’re not gay, okay—We were just…Needy. And Heather Chandler had just died so the other Heathers were upset…A-and we didn’t have any other booty calls. That was the only reason we did that…” Kurt averted his eyes and Ram crossed his arms, furrowing his brows.

“And that’s kind of the sa-same situation we’re in right now, wouldn’t you say? We’re stuck out here, rejected by both Heathers and without anyone else to bang, yo-you know?” Ram grumbled and leaned closer. “Come on, Kurt, it hurts.” The teen grunted softly and his grip on the other’s arm tightened. “It’s science…I need relief.”

Kurt could feel his steely resolve about the subject slowly softening—He blamed the alcohol. “…Fine. Fine, just…How should we…Get it started.” Ram smirked and gently pressed his lips against Kurt’s—However, it took the quarterback a second to reciprocate the gesture. He took no time at all, though, to swipe his tongue on the other’s bottom lip. Ram opened his mouth a tad and Kurt took the opportunity to insert his tongue into the warm cavern. It tasted like alcohol—Which made him crave it more. Ram knew that a kiss would melt Kurt instantaneously. You aren’t best friends with someone for eight years and just forget something like that.

Stumbling around, they quickly settled against a sturdy oak tree, sliding down so that Kurt’s back was against the bark and his bottom resting on the ground—The night may have been slightly nippy, but with the booze warming their bodies and the kissing that occupied their actions, it was quickly beginning to warm up. This prompted them to remove their jackets, but this did not mean they had to stop kissing—In fact, they quite skillfully took the letterman jackets off without breaking the contact that their lips were making. This was not their first rodeo.

With closed eyes, Kurt grabbed Ram by his hips and drug him up onto his lap. In order to feel more comfortable in his new position, the linebacker arched his back so that he could move his head down to keep kissing Kurt. In response to this, Kurt stretched his neck out and tilted his head to the side. He was not letting up in the least with his kissing and the jeans they were both wearing became unbearably tight. Moving his hands away from Ram’s hips, Kurt reached down and popped his pants button, deciding to unzip it, too. This released the pressure down there and even he couldn’t resist the sound he made when he felt as if he could finally breathe. Ram mimicked this action and when he finally got his pants loose, he grabbed them by the hem and wiggled them further down, allowing his clothed erection to pop out from the top of his jeans. Grunting happily at the feeling, he let his hands rest on the other’s shoulders, gently pushing him away so they could take a quick breather. They were both panting softly, the stench of alcohol swirling around their heads.

The two football players gazed into each other’s eyes for just a few moments more, lust clouding their pupils. Before long, Ram licked his lips and moved down Kurt’s body, his hand tracing against every muscle it could. He slowly pulled the other’s legs apart and leaned down to kiss the head of his dick. It didn’t take much longer for the linebacker to grab the other’s underwear and pull it down completely, watching with satisfaction as Kurt’s cock came springing forth, only to settle back down against his lower abdomen. Reaching out, Ram’s calloused fingers grabbed ahold of his dick and slowly began to jerk him off, movements slightly sloppy. He had only done this one other time and when he touched himself, he was doing it at a different angle. Kurt let the back of his head thump against the tree as pleasure zipped through his body.

It took Ram a few seconds to finally lean forward again, but, when he did, he popped the upper part of Kurt’s cock right into his mouth, letting the fat head sit on his tongue for a good minute while the tip of his muscle worked around it. A tiny bit of saliva rolled down the length, but other than that, Ram was doing good about keeping everything where it should be. Humming in delight, he moved his head further down, smiling when he heard a groan of satisfaction from Kurt. The quarterback didn’t care who was sucking his dick now, he was just glad to finally feel some sort of relief. “Nghn, Ram, that’s right…” So far, he could only comfortably fit about half of the other’s length in his mouth. Kurt was thick and the thought of that made Ram’s mouth water for some strange reason.

Pulling up slowly, the linebacker let out another hum before twisting his head to one side and plunging back down, careful to not let the tip hit the back of his throat. He knew if it did, he’d gag like a bitch and, well—He really didn’t want to sound like one.

Ram continued to bob his head, letting his tongue trail along the underside of Kurt’s cock every time he pulled up. The taste of bitter precum was beginning to get stronger and stronger the more he went on. He could barely hear the other’s grunts, but they seemed to be getting slightly louder with each motion. “Fuck, fuck—Ram, stop, I’m gonna—Nghn.” Kurt reached out, fingers grabbing a hand full of Ram’s hair and popping him off of his cock. “I don’t—Want to cu-cum yet…”

“Ow, ow—Shit! Fine, then just te-tell me that next time, Kurt! Don’t go trying to rip my hair out.” With a slightly sympathetic look, Kurt let go and sighed. He breathed out an apology, his throbbing dick pulsing against his body. “Listen—I just…Okay, uhm—I kinda wanted to try so-something…” His body leaned to one side before quickly straightening back up. He was wasted. “You’ll need to…Ge-get these off, though.” He sat up on his knees and moved forward, gently tugging at the other’s pants, desperately trying to get them off. With a confused look, Ram complied and slowly wriggled out of his pants. He wasn’t as hard as Kurt, but with the cool night air kissing his now naked hips, he could feel himself growing stiffer.

“There, they’re off…Just—What are you doing?” Kurt leaned forward some more, causing Ram to slowly lie on his back, looking up at his best friend completely bewildered.

Grumbling, Kurt let his right-hand rest on the other’s ass, his fingers slowly making their way to his entrance. His left hand was planted firmly on the ground right next to Ram’s head. “Hey, idiot…Answer me. What are yo—Oh!” His eyes screwed shit when he felt one of Kurt’s thick digits forcing its way into his body. A low, grunting moan sounded from the linebacker as that finger travelled deeper and deeper until it hit the knuckle. “Fu-fuck—Kurt…” The noise that pulled from Ram caused the quarterback to grin just a little. That same finger wiggled ever so slightly, pressing against the warm walls inside of the other teen. This elicited another moan from the poor boy and he couldn’t help but whimper at the feeling. After a few seconds, Kurt leaned down and gently began to kiss Ram, letting his finger pull out before plunging back in. He devoured the moans that entered his mouth, tongue licking and lapping against Ram’s.

It didn’t take long for Kurt to get bored with one finger, however—So, he immediately added a second one, and, much to his delight, the noises Ram made grew louder. This wasn’t at all what they had done last time. All it was the previous time was a mutual blowjob—But Kurt was looking for a lot more tonight and he was going to get what he wanted.

Kurt slowly began to scissor his fingers, stretching Ram more and more so that he may be able to take him—Not comfortably, mind you, but, enough so that he would be able to slide in a little easier. They had no lube, obviously, so, this was second best. “Ku-Kurt…More—I-I want more.” The linebacker keened out loud rolling his hips ever so slightly. “I need—It. Please…” He wasn’t stupid—He knew exactly what Kurt had planned.

At those words, Kurt removed his fingers and grabbed onto Ram’s hips, positioning himself so that the head of his cock pressed against the other’s entrance. The contact made both of them shiver and it wasn’t long before Kurt began pushing himself in, shakily breathing as he felt the warmth of Ram’s body enveloping his member. “Fuuuuuuuck, Ram.” He groaned out, biting his bottom lip as he heard the guttural moans from the linebacker. They caused his own to pale in comparison.

As soon as he had finally made it to the hilt, Kurt’s hands moved to the other’s thighs and he slowly began to pull back out. Ram whined at Kurt, wanting him to continue. Smirking softly at this, the quarterback began to rock his hips forward and backward, somehow managing to get deeper and deeper with each thrust. His movements were not smooth at all, though—They were quirky and messy. Sometimes he’d slide in and accidentally slam the rest right at the last moment, causing Ram some discomfort. The pained noises sounded pleasurable to Kurt, and he couldn’t distinguish the two of them.

After a few minutes of slow, fidgety thrusts, Kurt began to pick up some speed, closing his eyes and letting his head roll backwards. The sound of slapping skin began to grow in volume, but they didn’t care—No one was going to be out in the graveyard this late at night, anyway. Ram felt his body tensing up as soon as Kurt angled just the right way and hit directly in that spot. As the speed grew faster and faster, the quarterback managed to hit his prostate over and over, slamming into it and causing Ram to seize up and tighten around Kurt’s member. “Fu-fuck! Kurt—Nghn, shit, that fe-feels fuckin’ fantastic!” The teen’s voice quivered with pleasure, breathing speeding up and getting heavier.

Kurt leaned forward, still moving his hips, and buried his face in the other’s neck, grunting as he felt his climax getting closer. It was like a hot, boiling ball in his lower gut and that ball was slowly travelling down his cock, getting ready to shoot forth.

But Ram beat him to it. With one more loud, almost explosive moan, the linebacker closed his eyes and bit viciously at his bottom lip, taking a deep breath as his dick pulsed and semen came spraying out on his chest and ending in a few, weak bobs. Kurt let out a low, long groan, feeling how much Ram tensed at his climax and knowing that his was just a few more thrusts away. With shaky knees, he tried to fuck Ram like he had a few moments ago, but the state his body was entering wouldn’t allow it. He got careless and ended it all by making Ram take it to the hilt and unloading his seed in him all at once. 

Their motions stilled out, their chests rising and falling with each puffing breath. Kurt stayed nestled in Ram, not pulling out—Wanting to save the moment as he slowly came from his high. “Sh-shit, Ram…” He spoke up, closing his eyes and moving from his neck to gently nip at his bottom lip. “We should…Do this more…Of-often…” At that, he slowly pulled out and sat back against the tree, tugging at his wife beater.

“Ye-yeah, we…Really should, huh?” Ram was still a little…Eh, about the whole situation. He didn’t know how he felt about what just happened. Yeah, it was a hell of a lot of fun and all, but…Did he really just do that…? With his best friend? Gulping a little, Ram moved over to Kurt and slowly started to put his clothes back on. “Hey, we should—Get going, okay? It’s getting…Kind of late and I-I know I’m going to have a hangover in…Th-the morning. Sleep is…Important.” Blinking a little, Kurt looked over at the other and nodded.

“Alright…Hey, I’m just going to, uhm…Crash a-at your house. Dad’s been a little—I don’t know. He’s just been kind of a jerk lately.” Ram let out a low sigh.

“Okay, that’s fine, Kurt—You can stay with me…”

“…Let’s get going, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this was good! This was my first Heathers fanfiction, but I do write other stuff! This was my first time publishing smut, so, please excuse me if it's not, like--God tier, haha! I'll see y'all later!


End file.
